give me all you've got... I won't break your heart

Right. Okay. Well, then....

So I've been mulling over this latest development at Camp Cardinals, and trying desperately to put into words all that I'm thinking, but (as you might imagine) it's pretty difficult.

I love Big Mac.

No, not the sandwich. (I actually don't like Big Macs.)

I don't really care what you think of me regarding that love, and I completely understand that I'm in the minority with my feelings.

But still, I love him.

I've written about this before, and I don't particularly want to revisit it right now, especially considering that the 2010 pre-season promises to be chock full of MacGoodness until we're all vomiting blood and cursing the national sports media with our dying breaths. So there's no need to burn it all out this early. Best to save some bile for later.

Don't get me wrong, I like Hal McRae. I like recognizing him when his infamous "Royal Rant" is played on the "Top Most Outrageous Sports Meltdowns". I like seeing his hat perched precariously on the peak of his head, ready to fall at any moment. I like his enormous and slightly mischievous smile. Unfortunately, when you're the hitting coach and your team gets swept out of the playoffs due largely to a complete lack of hitting, you probably shouldn't make any plans for redecorating your office.

Mark McGwire may not be the answer, but the better half of the Bash Brothers belongs in a Cardinals uniform for the rest of time, as far as I'm concerned, and if he has to actually wear the uniform for the rest of time to make that a reality (rather than the immortalization I'm hoping for), well, then, so be it.

If nothing else, I guess this effectively settles the question of who will next wear number 25. It will be none other than number 25 himself.

Welcome back, Mac.

fizzle... pop... dead

We played hard and lost. We have nothing to be ashamed of.

Good season, everyone. Now go home and rest up, because Spring Training is only about five months away.

I guess it wasn't meant to be.

(pause for dramatic effect)

Oh, well. There's always next year. (Egads, did I just say that? Deep breath, I will not turn into a Cubs fan.)

I like a good underdog, so I'll be rooting for the Rockies and Twins.

Where do the other playoff teams stand? Glad you asked? (And yes, I realize you didn't actually ask.)

• I heard on ESPN yesterday(?) that it might be "a while before they can play competitive baseball in Colorado again."

• Minnesota, with ankles in hands, are on the verge of a fate similar to the Cards.

• The BoSox were swept out of their series as well.

• No promises, but if it comes down to the Yankees and the Dodgers, I might just put in a DVD and forget about baseball altogether.

The offseason should be interesting, if nothing else.

• TLR and Dave Duncan may or may not be back. I would love for them to return, but I'm not holding my breath.

• Matt Holliday will probably end up with the Yankees (unless you believe in karma).

• Mark DeRosa will probably end up back with the Cubs (or possibly the Padres).

• Troy Glaus won't sign anywhere this offseason, but I expect him to get ST invites.

• Rick Ankiel will NOT get everything Scott Boras thinks he's worth, but he won't do too badly. He'll stay in the NL, because as we all saw this year, his defense is much better than his offense.

• Joel Pineiro will get a 1-year deal to stay with the Cardinals.

• Jason Motte has seen the last of big league action for a while.

• Todd Wellemeyer... well, it's hard to say if he'll get any interest this winter, but he's a very likable guy, and I hope he gets another chance. Somewhere else. Cause, well, likable is nice and all, but I want to win next year.

• John Smoltz will definitely get interest, but I'm not entirely sure he wants to come back, regardless of what he says. I'd love to see him back in a Cardinals uniform, but that's a hard one to pick.

I guess that's the upside of a long season--you don't have to wait too long for another chance.

(forced smile)


(sigh)

(sob)

I'm just going to bury my face in a pillow and cry for a few weeks.

One more season over, one more opportunity missed.

Blah.

the games that play us

All of this means nothing if you can't knock down that shot.

Does a 162-game season really come down to this? One game? Can you win 91 games and the division and still go home with nothing to show?

Yes. And no.

We will slump our shoulders and shuffle off the field, knowing that for now, for this moment in time, we are losers.

We played hard.... We have nothing to be ashamed of.

But there was a lot to be proud of during the regular season this year. Lots of drama. Lots of hard work. Lots of excitement. Lots of unforgettable moments (and a few we'd maybe rather forget). All in all, it was a blast. Sure, the last few weeks were pretty rough, but with a 162-game season, you can't really expect every day to be peaches.

Less than what we wanted? Yes.

But nothing to show? No way.

Minutes away from the start of this playoff game.

Will it be the last? Or the first?

I told you if you missed that shot it was all for nothing, but I was wrong.

It matters.

No regrets.

can we play a meaningful game, already?

I have started this post over and over, looking for the right words to tell you how I'm feeling, but in all honesty, I don't know how I'm feeling (unless you count sick as a dog with something flu-like). Truly, it's hard to know what to say or how to feel about a team that played so hard and clinched the division and then just decided to bag the rest of the season. Am I supposed to be excited? Disappointed? Outraged? Yes and no, I guess.

The post-celebration season was a drag. Nothing interesting happened, and while it was really no fun to watch, we can at least take solace in the fact that nothing disastrous happened, either. Maybe that was the point. Maybe it was all pre-arranged to prevent serious injury. It would have been nice, however, if they could have managed one or two more wins. You know, just to get the enthusiasm up a little headed into the playoffs. But, whatever.

Like I said, I had a lot of trouble conjuring up any emotion (one way or the other) about the situation, but then I thought, "wait, what about some emotionless writing to convey my emotionless thoughts?" And if you've ever read or written nurse's notes, you know that it doesn't get much more emotionless than that.

So, here's my best attempt at NN (nurse's notes) to describe what has been a less than impressive season finale...

• 9/26/09 2230 Team in playoffs p clinching against Col. Celebrating c alcohol in clubhouse. Media present. A&O x2, unable to identify time of day/date or purpose possibly r/t ETOH consumption. Team pleasant, smiling, cooperative. VS 120/80 72 20 98.6o. Skin warm, dry. LCTA. Respirations even. BSx4. No c/o pain or discomfort. No distress noted.

• 10/1/09 1600 Team c one win of three in Cin series. A&O x4. Mood labile. Denies SI/HI. Catcher c/o pain in L knee p incident c foul ball. Reports pain as "8" on 1-10 scale. Unable to bear weight L leg. Swelling & bruising noted to area. Pedal pulses present B. Prn pain meds given as requested. Ice pack applied. Player replaced. VS 114/66 98 24 98.0o. Skin warm, dry. Respirations even. BSx4.

• 10/4/09 1830 Team swept by division foes. Regular season over. Three series losses to end season. VS 102/60 110 28 96.7o. Skin cool, clammy. Respirations labored. Lung sounds diminished B @ bases. Oral mucosa pink, moist. Cap refill 2 seconds. No cyanosis noted. Sa02 90%. 02 applied per NC @2L/min. HOB elevated. A&O x4. Mood anxious.

Hopefully, the post-season adrenaline will kick in and we'll stop the bleeding and survive the NLDS.

...

Whatever.